Auctions: Bidding against people you know.

I had a situation recently where a doll I was planning to bid on was mentioned on a forum I go to, and it put me in a real bind. I really wanted to bid on the auction, and had done research into the exact value of doll, and what my top bid should be. But I felt bad for possibly bidding against someone I knew/ another person on the same forum I went.

 

In the end I decided that as I had found the auction independently and already wanted to bid, that I would bid. My research paid off, and I won the doll. But the guilt remains, especially as my final bid was late in the day, although it left plenty of time for an opposing bidder to outbid me.

 

Although "dibs" was never called, should I assume that any mention of interest in an auction on a forum I go to means I shouldn't enter it myself, even if I had found the auction independently and was already planning to bid on it? This is the first situation where this had happened to me.

 

While I feel bad at potentially depriving someone else, I am still very glad I won the auction. I have big plans for this doll, it's going to be my summer project, and I intend to spend quite a bit of money on it. But I'd like peoples' opinions/experiences on this subject, as a guide for future situations like this one. The UK vinyl doll scene is not very big, so there a good chance this situation will come up again and again. Forums are my connection to people who like dolls like me, in the UK and beyond, and I'd like to maintain that connection.

 

Thank-you for all your thoughts.

I had a situation recently where a doll I was planning to bid on was mentioned on a forum I go to, and it put me in a real bind. I really wanted to bid on the auction, and had done research into the exact value of doll, and what my top bid should be. But I felt bad for possibly bidding against someone I knew/ another person on the same forum I went.

 

In the end I decided that as I had found the auction independently and already wanted to bid, that I would bid. My research paid off, and I won the doll. But the guilt remains, especially as my final bid was late in the day, although it left plenty of time for an opposing bidder to outbid me.

 

Although "dibs" was never called, should I assume that any mention of interest in an auction on a forum I go to means I shouldn't enter it myself, even if I had found the auction independently and was already planning to bid on it? This is the first situation where this had happened to me.

 

While I feel bad at potentially depriving someone else, I am still very glad I won the auction. I have big plans for this doll, it's going to be my summer project, and I intend to spend quite a bit of money on it. But I'd like peoples' opinions/experiences on this subject, as a guide for future situations like this one. The UK vinyl doll scene is not very big, so there a good chance this situation will come up again and again. Forums are my connection to people who like dolls like me, in the UK and beyond, and I'd like to maintain that connection.

 

Thank-you for all your thoughts.

 

I know what you mean but I think it depends on the situation as I had this the other day where a member on this forum was going for something that I also wanted to go for but I didn't because of the situation and they won it, where as before I have had this situation and have still bid against someone i knew :/

Chances are that you'll be bidding against someone you know from the community will only grow as you get more into it, and the inverse will probably happen as well where someone wins something that you were bidding on. It's the name of the game, we don't all get to be winners. Hate to sound harsh but that's auctions for ya.

It is a tricky situation, but for me I'd still bid on it. No questions or hesitation, if I've seen it, I want it and I can afford it then I will bid on it for sure.

 

I think of it this way, I'd be buying the item for genuine reasons, not buying to scalp or anything like that so I figure that I have just as much right to bid on and potentially own that item, just as much as someone else does. If someone else isn't prepared or able to spend as much money as I am on an item, it's not my fault. And besides, if I didn't bid for the sake of being polite and then the forum member/friend didn't win anyway as they didn't have a high enough bid, I've pretty much lost out on a great deal for no good reason.

 

It may sound ruthless, but in a hobby such as this, sometimes you have to be to get what you want. As long as you aren't rude about it (for example, don't rub the other persons nose in it that they lost and don't threaten people against bidding) then there is nothing wrong with it as far as I'm concerned.

I think there is never a reason to hesitate if you know you want something. I understand where you are coming from, and I get how things can be a bit complicated. I've dealt with the same situation, even with people I talk to one-on-one with and found myself bidding against them. I think it's best to disregard the other person's feelings. If you both equally want an item then there is no need to give up on it simply because they also want it. There is also no way in knowing that either you will be the one to win it. I think it's better to try, and win (or lose) then to just give up. While it may not always feel good to know you got something that you are sure someone else on the forum wanted...you still got it, and they should deal with it. (Don't rub it in their face though. No one likes that.) Congrats on getting your doll and I hope you don't worry too much! While your community may be small, this hobby (as a whole) is still quite the competitive one and I'm sure no one would hold it against you for bidding on it (and winning). Bidding against others is a hazard that comes with the sharing good auctions/sales threads unfortunately or simply being on a forum where that is the main subject, so it'll always happen.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Guest

This is such a tricky situation! I'm sure it happens a lot though because it's such a small community...

 

I think it's case by case really, and the cirbleepstances around it. Some people have successfully split auctions and teamed up to get what they need. If you find an auction on your own then I think it's fair game. But if someone's talking about an auction that they're going after and they're really excited... Maybe it's best to wait for another try, unless they get outbid and they admit defeat then you could always go in for the kill.

 

It's kind of a jerk move to move in on an auction someone's really excited about and found on their own. If you find out about someone else also bidding on it after you've already bid and whatever that's different. Does that make sense? I dunno that's how I feel *shrug*

 

I've been really burned on auctions before by vultures so I tend to be more careful about what auctions I link to people and such.

I think that if you want to win an auction, you should bid. You don't have less of a right than any of the other bidders. That's the principle of an auction, after all~ The item doesn't have multiples and multiple people are interested in it, so only one person can win. It can be scary to know you have competition who loves that item as much as you do, but all bidders have a right to try to win.

 

I've bid on auctions against acquaintances and friends before, and it doesn't bother me. I think of it as part of the territory.

 

One time, a friend of mine gushed to me about an auction she had found. I responded with equal excitement, and I let her know I was bidding on the same auction. She was horrified! "Oh no," she said, "I'm so sorry! I should cancel my bid! I didn't know it was yours!" The problem was--it was not mine. I hadn't won! I didn't want her to stop just because we both liked the same thing. In the end, she won the auction, and I was happy for her. She was willing to pay more for the item. (In the end I wasn't her strongest competition--for the last few minutes it was her versus another user we didn't know.)

 

It can definitely feel conflicting to bid against people you know, because we all know that losing an auction sucks and we don't want to be the cause of someone else's "lost auction sorrow," but at the same time that's just part of life~ I have a really hard time thinking that any one person "deserves" a win more than someone else. Having to wait around for that fabled item to come up for auction again just because someone else "called it first" isn't fair.

I would contact him/her before. At least, no one of us will pay more than needed.

I don't mind people bidding against me or even winning over me. What I have had problems with in the past (not with DDs, but with other stuff) is that people showing poor manners when doing so.

Two different examples:

- Winning an item over me, then posting about how they don't really care anything about it...just was looking to add to their collection.

- Losing an item to me, then posting about how they didn't really want it anyways because it had a minor flaw.

Above was a big portion of why I started socializing on that forum.

It's the problem with small communities of collectors. My sister collects spinning wheels, for which there is a small but avid online community. Same thing happens on that forum. Not a whole lot you can do about it.

I think it's a pretty personal call: on one hand you don't want to screw over someone you know, but on the other hand why should you not bid on something you really want just to be nice? That might sound harsh, but what I mean is, it's hard to judge who wants something "more." Maybe if it was someone's dream doll that you only *kind* of liked and you knew they had saved up for a year and all their money was going into this auction it would be considered rude to bid and against the niceties of the community. But I think in most cirbleepstances as long as you're not outright flaunting your win/bragging about it/rubbing it in their face you shouldn't NOT bid on a doll/outfit/wig/whatever because someone else MIGHT win it. I mean, what if you don't bid because x person is bidding and you know them, buy y person who you don't know wins? It's not like each auction is just two people and one somehow can claim it as theirs from the start.

 

The fact of doll collecting is that there's just not enough of each one to meet demand. Unlike something like PVC where pretty much everyone can get what they have the money for, a dream doll can be out of reach even if you have more than enough money depending on how rare she is. And given how small the community is, you're bound to bump elbows with fellow collectors now and again in auction situations! It should definitely be handled delicately and with tact, even if you don't know who you are bidding against. And I'm sure people here have experienced it already: I know I did with PlasticFantastic when we both tried to bid on the same pair of eyes without knowing it! As long as everyone keeps a cool head and understands that bidding is just part of the hobby, I can't see any real arguments being started.

I wouldn't have gotten my Yoko if someone in this forum hadn't posted the auction link

So, I like the idea of sharing auction links and such with the community even if it does increase the likelihood of competition.

I think auctions can be more fair in that the seller isn't choosing the buyer, when you consider some personality conflicts and other issues that can arise. Maybe I've heard too many horror stories, but the formality of auctions keeps the relationship purely business.

I wouldn't worry about some friendly competition. It's a business transaction. Nothing personal. Whoever wants it more wins, in both money and feelings. Meaning, if you're willing to give up to be polite, I would say that's proof-by-action that you don't want it that much anyway, so no big deal.

 

Also, it could very well be that NEITHER of you ends up winning. So why worry about it?

I think it should be a non-issue, insofar as whomever wants the item more by voting with their wallet gets it.

 

Dolls may have limited quantities produced, but.. I have found that almost no matter what you want, it's going to be available at some price on some site at some time again in the (near) future. No matter who wins an auction today, the loser doesn't really lose out because they get another chance to get ther dream item soon after.

 

On the other hand... Even though it's inevitable that it will occur every time, I feel grumpier about losing Volks retail lotteries or clickwars to "friendly competition" than I do about losing auctions. Who knows. I guess not wanting to pay an auction price doesn't bother me because that was my choice, rather than luck-of-draw or checkout-too-slow which are things not in my control.

Obviously, If someone posts in a forum that they found their unicorn in an auction, and it's a doll that you kind of like, or want to resell for more, so you jump in and snag it just because you have more disposable income, that is being a jerk. If you both happen to come across the same auction, and you really want that particular girl, however, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about bidding on it. As has been posted a lot, this is a small community so it's inevitable that someone else you know will want some of the same dolls, clothes, etc as you do.Just don't go out of your way to make them feel bad about it and generally everyone understands.

I think it is fine to bid against people that you know. If I really wanted an item, I will bid on it whether I know someone else is or not. I know a lot of people would do the same. It would only be inappropriate if someone is bidding on it to resell. Other than that, there is no reason why someone should feel guilty for it. If two people were bidding on an item, and one of them wins, I think it would be rude to brag about winning (if it is known that another person in the community was bidding on it as well). In general, I do not brag about my winnings or purchases because I know the items are very limited. I think that no one should feel guilty about anything, as long as they act upon it in a respectable manner.

Thank-you for all your responses. I think the general agreement is respect those hunting for unicorns, don't stoop to scalping, and should you win/lose a locally contested auction, not to show poor sportsmanship (whether bragging about a win, or disparaging a loss).

 

The auction in question was mentioned in http://www.dollfiedreams.com/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=3107. I read it as a general query, but rereading it after the fact makes it clear Sowdenr intended to bid on the item. I am still happy I bid, as I found the auctions before I saw that post, but want to be honest about how it happened.

 

I'd like to post about the auctions I won in the off topic Obitsu section, about the repairs I am making and the projects I have planned (one will be dyed a tan for a Gerudo custom, and the other shortened by 5cm for a custom OC: both projects planned long before these dolls became available, hence my excitement when I saw them). Would such posts count as the poor sportsmanship above?

You said that you found the auction before you saw the post, so if that is the truth then you shouldn't have anything to feel bad or guilty for. I also think it would be fine if you posted the updates of your projects and repairs. I think that it would be helpful to other collectors, and you do not appear to be boasting or rude about your win at all.

 

I think it is quite admirable for you to even post the specific example about why you created the topic, since that could have backfired and people could say that you sniped the auction or something silly like that. xD It takes guts to be so honest and open about what happened! ^_^

 

So, I do not think it is poor sportsmanship or anything bad at all. I am actually looking forward to seeing what you do with your Obitsu project.

I came from another community where it's actually a rule that you aren't supposed to post a link to an auction until it's over. So I was very surprised when people started doing it here, and at times annoyed when someone posted the auction I was watching.

 

But I think it's comparing apples to oranges. The other community deals in items that are somewhat plentiful and much, much cheaper in price. So deals can be had on a regular basis. It's also mostly centered in the US, where our dolls are on the Japanese and international market.

 

I would certainly have had a tough time acquiring the dolls/outfits/items I wanted had it not been for older members who were willing to share their knowledge with me. But by doing so, they created another competitor for themselves. It's a bit of a double edged sword, gaining friends in this community.

 

But to answer your question, I think it's perfectly fine for you to go after the item you want, as long as it's an item for your collection and not a resell piece, as others have said. I went through the same thing just a few days ago. There was an auction for a Asuka going fairly cheap, and though I want her, she's a ways down on my list. I knew there was a split going for her, as the price matched the opening bid. In the end, I didn't bid, as I figured that she wasn't a top priority for me (unlike Natsuki or Mariko), and didn't want to pad the price for the group hoping to obtain her.

 

But had it been my unicorn? You bet my finger would have clicked "BID" faster than you can say "bippy".