Secondhand purchase question: am I too patient?

I’ve been in the bjd hobby since 2009 and new to DDs but am I’m experienced secondhand doll buyer, through the Den Of Angels. All my secondhand dolls had some uncontrollable circumstance but the sellers have been great.

I wasn’t sure if I’d like the DD and went for secondhand for my first doll. I have the head (it’s my profile pic), bought on DOA but there hasn’t been a semi white body, so I joined several Facebook bjd and DD sales groups. 

In late May, I found a DD III semi white body for sale on one of the DD Facebook groups, at a good, but not too good, price. Contacted the Seller and bought the body at the beginning of June. Communication was initially good, but then suddenly dropped off. I pinged the seller on June 18 after the first shipping date was missed and was told there was a family emergency (unexpected hospital stay for their sister) but they would ship the body last Tuesday. By Saturday, I hadn’t received the tracking number and contacted the seller. There has been no reply.

The seller has good feedback and everyone has a tough time at some point, but we have conducted a business transaction. I wouldn’t be concerned if they initiated conversation and kept me in the loop, but I had to drive the convo. Writing this out, I’m thinking of asking for a refund. I could report the seller but that seems a bit much at this point.

Am I being impatient or unreasonable? 
 

I would appreciate any advice and/or words of wisdom.
 

 

 

I think you have been very patient and kind!

After the buyer pays for the product the seller has to be responsible regardless of what's going on in their lives, if they said they would ship x day but an emergency happened then the best thing to do is to contact the buyer and explain why they couldn't ship instead of staying quiet and making the buyer anxious. I don't think it's good that you have to keep asking the seller what's going on. That's bad communication and a lack of care from the seller's part. 

Have you checked if the seller has been active in other places? many people use "the sick/hospital" lies to scam or excuse their delays so I would check that seller's social media. Even if that seller was saying the truth, she should keep better communication and her life is none of your business, you paid and they have to deliver.

I hope you get a response soon, if she says she will ship but doesn't do it again I wouldn't even ask for a refund and wait for them, I would just contact paypal or open a paypal dispute. If you paid with credit card is better, claim fraud and they will refund your money. 

This behavior deserves a negative or neutral feedback, certainly not a positive feedback regardless if you get the doll. Good luck!

Whenever people miss deadlines with no communication it makes my hair raise. After the second deadline is missed I think I’m entitled to assume I’m being scammed.

Whatever you do, don’t let the seller talk you into waiting longer than your claim deadlines. Also, credit cards often have short claim window so if you used a card I’d check with them to find out how long you have to request a refund. 

If you used Paypal keep in mind that you can’t close the claim and re-open it again, so once you file a claim don’t close it until you either have the body in hand or you have your refund. If the seller tries to talk you into closing the claim before you have either of those things, you can pretty safely assume you’re dealing with a con artist. 

People can fake feedback too, and I always look for feedback from people who I know or are well known and active in the community. 

From what you've described, you've been reasonable. I would start feeling uncomfortable in this scenario, too.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Veravey
typo

I’ve checked two places for activity: DOA and the Facebook group where the sale was posted. They’ve been absent in the two groups. I’ll search other groups tonight. But still no response my my last query, so it’s time for negative feedback and a PayPal dispute.

Thanks for the advice.

I am the type of person that ships same day or next if I can. So i have a hard time understanding someone who wait so long to ship something. If it is something rare that I really want. I guess I will give them time and listen to excuses. Once took someone a month to ship me a head, I didnt think I would see it honestly, but it arrived as described.

54 minutes ago, Glitt3rgalaxy said:

I am the type of person that ships same day or next if I can. So i have a hard time understanding someone who wait so long to ship something. If it is something rare that I really want. I guess I will give them time and listen to excuses. Once took someone a month to ship me a head, I didnt think I would see it honestly, but it arrived as described.

I start and then delete feedback or reporting the seller. You just never know what a person is going through.  Weirdly, I'm dealing with something similar at work...so perhaps it's a message from the 'Verse telling me to be more trusting. 

I found their eBay shop and other Facebook groups, they have consistently been off those sites since they stopped responding to my texts, which is consistent with the family issue story - I watch a lot of cop procedurals   I also found 2 feedbacks that said the item was shipped late but was as described. 

In the meantime, I ordered a DDS body from Volks.  Fingers crossed.

4 hours ago, Glitt3rgalaxy said:

I am the type of person that ships same day or next if I can. So i have a hard time understanding someone who wait so long to ship something. If it is something rare that I really want. I guess I will give them time and listen to excuses. Once took someone a month to ship me a head, I didnt think I would see it honestly, but it arrived as described.

Honestly, same.  Mostly because I have a thing where I 'hold' money until the doll is in the seller's hands and is safe and they're happy.  Th longest I've probably taken was maybe a week, due to work/having to dig out/rearrange/find every pice I had during my first SmD purge.

12 hours ago, Tenukihandcrafts said:

I found their eBay shop and other Facebook groups, they have consistently been off those sites since they stopped responding to my texts, which is consistent with the family issue story - I watch a lot of cop procedurals   I also found 2 feedbacks that said the item was shipped late but was as described. 

I can understand not being comfortable about posting negative feedback, but you should still file a claim to get your money back. They aren’t talking to you, and they haven’t shipped your item. All the claim will do is reverse the transaction, and get you back what was originally yours.

Lets say its a true emergency, and they are very ill. Even in this situation, it should be understandable to file the claim. Things can happen - but you shouldn't put yourself in a situation that is unfortunate and lose your money with nothing to show for it, at this level of finances. It is understandable to protect yourself. As for negative feedback, that is entirely up to you. Maybe neutral feedback is more appropriate?

Thanks, all, for the advice. My apologies for the very delayed reply in the thread, but there was an unexpected death in the family. My final convo with the seller was to cancel my order and refund my money with no reply. I reported the seller on Facebook and submitted a PayPal dispute.

It is unfortunate but that was my first bad transaction since I joined the hobby in 2009. 

Good news: I submitted a PayPal dispute; PayPal ruled in my favor and the seller refunded my money. Thanks for all the advice.