Dealing with family members that does not like Dollfies...

How do you deal with family members that don't agree with Dollfies?

 

I'm 23 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money to complete my Masters program. They seem to hate my Dollfies and doesn't want them around. The "easy" solution I thought would work was just to keep them in my room but they imply that it's their house and even if they're in my room, they are within sight and therefore does not want them around.

 

To be honest, it's because my mother is afraid of dolls and my father thinks it's idiotic as a whole.

Does anyone have a similar situation?

Maybe you can hide them from sight? I normally hide my things behind large posters on a shelf. You can sneak them out for photoshoots or when your door is locked. It's a bit disappointing since you can't display them, but it's only for the time being, until you get your own place.

 

Sorry I can't be much help. I don't have this problem as both my parents love my girls.

Oh that's terrible My mom always taught me that even though my room was in her house it was alotted as my space so as long as I didn't destroy it or breed rodents and bugs anything was fine. I have doll collectors in both branches of my family, and while they don't really understand taking them out for pictures, they don't have a problem with my dolls. My husband thinks it's a bit strange but he's the one who pays for things so he still enables me My stepdad teases me but since I'm an adult he can't do anything. But his son is into anime and he's told me not to get him into dolls because my stepdad is very old fashioned. I feel that you shouldn't ostrasize your kids for their choices unless those choices are truly harmful. I'm sorry that your mom is afraid of dolls and your dad doesn't accept your hobby either I'm not sure what I would do in your situation. Maybe try explaining that it's what makes you happy, and they did agree to let you move back. The dolls aren't hurting anyone else and they're not really in plain sight if they're in your room.

My mom thinks they're a goofy hobby of mine but is otherwise supportive (she's even entered the Volks lottery for me, a few times). My dad thinks they're the absolute dumbest waste of money he's ever seen... or at least he used to.

 

I haven't lived with my parents in several years, but I still see my parents frequently and my doll hobby does come up frequently.

 

I've found that two things have really helped:

 

(1) Talking about how much I enjoy the hobby. I try to talk about this in "practical" terms like stress-relief, relaxation, socializing. "With my high-pressure job, it's so relaxing to spend time thinking about something that isn't stressful or very serious!" and "I've met so many wonderful friends through the hobby, I just don't think my life would be as happy as it is without the hobby." I'm also very short so clothes are incredibly hard to find, so I'll often say, "Shopping for clothes for me is so horrible, it's so nice to be able to shop for clothes that I KNOW will fit!" It helps if your parents can see how the hobby fulfills your personal needs, and that it's more than just some "stupid" dolls.

 

(2) Talking about the financial aspects of the dolls -- but not how much you spend. I talk about the value of my dolls a LOT and this helps my parents see it as an "investment" instead of a waste of money. I'll frequently say things like, "Oh, I bought [whatever doll] for $700, and I saw she sold for $1,200 recently! That's a better return on investment than the stock market!" It doesn't matter if I have no plans on ever selling the doll, knowing that these items appreciate instead of depreciate seems to calm a lot of their fears about how much I spend on the hobby.

 

I think you do have to respect your mom's fears, however irrational they may be, so maybe if you can find a nice spot for them where they're not immediately visible if the bedroom door is open, that might help. If you're truly scared of dolls and you see them every time you walk down the hallway, that could certainly be unnerving.

You know, I haven't really talked to my parents about my DDs. Without asking, I know what they would worry most about is that I'm spending too much on them, and that I own far too many 'collectibles' already. Considering I wasn't making any friends when collecting Star Wars or Transformers, I'm sure they see my socializing as an improvement.

 

My parents don't go in my room, unless I'm home and they want to talk to me about something. Otherwise, they would only need to go there to shut a window, or leave my mail.

 

I hope you can work things out with your parents. I bet they have habits or hobbies you don't care for. My mom, for example, watches Dancing with the Stars. Not my thing at all. But it's not like I'm forced to watch with her. Just as your parents aren't forced into your room or to look at your Dollfies.

Wow, that sounds horrible.

 

My parents know about my hobby. My dad doesn't care, and my mom finds them cute and she wants to sew some clothes for my MDDs. I haven't told my older sisters though, as they can be pretty judgemental.

 

My oldest sister used to give me a lot of flak for being into anime/etc. Although she stopped after she got totally into Mini Cooper cars and started spending five digit amounts on them so maybe she wouldn't care.

Sorry that they are not supportive. It's hard because as an adult, you should be able to do what you like, but the rules are always different in someone else's house.

 

I second the idea of referring to them as an investment. Another suggestion might be concentrating on the photography aspects of the DD hobby -- how they are good subjects to learn photography skills and so on. Maybe you can spin it in a more understandable way (to them).

 

Unfortunately, it's really hard when someone in the house thinks dolls are "creepy.". Maybe tell them about doll's personalities to humanize them? Or would that just make it worse?

I don't have the same situation, because my parents like my dolls. The only thing they don't like is the price, but even without my encouragement they did research on their own and found out the prices that I have paid were fair, and they have seen how their value goes higher over time. They are especially pleased with how much lower than the average price I have paid for my Sasara, and they are actually proud of me for searching to find the best possible deal.

 

However, your family let you move back in with them, and they obviously didn't tell you that you couldn't bring your dolls with you. It is their house, but it is also your room, which is your allowed space to have your things. It would help to know how often your parents go in your room, or would have to see and be around your dolls. If they only see your room when they pass by, move your dolls so they cannot be seen from the doorway. If your parents go in there often, put them in a closet or behind an object so that they are not visible unless you move the object yourself.

 

If your mother is afraid of the dolls, I think it would be courteous to keep them out of her sight. I think that the best way to compromise the situation is to make sure that your mother and your father cannot see your dolls at any time they would be in your room. Only have them visible when your parents are out so that there wouldn't be an accident situation where one of them has to see them.

 

Sorry if this doesn't really help you, I don't have any experience with the situation. I just tried to think about what I would do if it were me.

I don't have a DD yet, but I have a resin girl, so I guess the reactions are about the same.

 

At first my parents didn't seem like they approved of her.

They just told me it was a waste of money and that I should spend all those money on something else.

And when I asked my boyfriend to help me get my girl, he wasn't too found of dolls either.

But I've sort of changed my view on how my parents sees my girl recently.

 

Half a year ago I attended Lyon Ldoll Festival.

My dad didn't join but my mom did.

It was the first time I had ever seen her so possitive about dolls.

She dragged me to some vendors and told me she had found some cute clothes for my girl, and she helped me look for some specific things.

And she looked really happy when she did. C:

She's also encouraging me about the fact that I wanted to bring my girl along for our trip to Japan this summer.

 

My boyfriend did quite soon after I had gotten my girl actually start to like her.

He, just like me, isn't too keen on realistic dolls, but he likes my girl and the company's similar dolls.

I also managed to get him into DDs, so now he's probably more hyped than me on getting one. XD

 

I also don't think my parents expected me to take so many photograhps as I have of her neither.

I usually take either my doll and/or some of my figures with me to take some photographes.

My parents aren't into anime, figurines or anything, but they actually enjoy looking at the photos I've taken and has gone from thinking it's a weird hobby to encouraging it.

At least I'm out and going for walks instead of constantly playing videogames, I guess. XD

 

So I guess my parents changed their view on the whole thing when they realized that I actually did stuff with the doll, rather on just having her in her box constantly. C:

 

So maybe you can try to change their view on DDs by perhaps photography, or something your parents might'd enjoy.

Or you just have to respect their opinions.

I wouldn't want to have dolls around either if I was scared of them.

But then again, if they're just standing in your room, there shouldn't really be I problem I think.

But it's a shame if you can't showcase them, it really is.

 

And yeah, sorry, I kind of started to ramble...

I do that sometimes... ._____.

I'm really sorry...

My parents want me to pay for things a bit more intelligent than dolls. Just this. They thing that 1 was OK, 2 so and so, 3 a no-no. And now, I'm gonna have my 4th, 5th, and 6th. I suppose I'll keep them in my wardrobe, hidden in the dark

I haven't told my mom about it, she wouldn't understand point blank. It's a major stress reliever for me and I don't want to be stressed over it. I find the hobby is way better than becoming I involved with destructive behaviors, like sex, alcohol and drugs. Atleast I have that as a rebuttal for any statement, furthermore,I save for myself and for my dolls, and I still contribute to the house monthly and on time. More proof that I can handle my financial responsibly, plus, what I do with my excess money is my business. I don't think I ever plan to tell her. It's not that big, plus she will never face the expense of it. It's like a rule, personal business should not affect the life of the other, otherwise it's a problem.

 

But hey, it's better than the readily available weed, and or a baby at 19 and 3/4 lol ^.^

My family is normally pretty judgmental about my weird anime/manga obsession and cosplay...but for some reason my mom is very accepting of my expensive lolita fashion obsession and my trying to buy a dollfie. My 16 yr old sister collects barbies for god's sake so I think she thinks of it as a grown up barbie collection. I think if you are living under your family's roof and they are paying for you you have to respect what they say no matter how ridiculous it is...I am 23 as well and struggled with that when i lived with them for a year when we all moved out of state. But now that I don't live with them any more I see where they were coming from asking me to respect their rules since they paid for me to live there without asking for anything in return. It sucks that you will have to put them away or something but that doesn't mean you have to sell them. I would just kindly tell your mom that you love your hobby and that you are keeping them but you respect her fear and will put them away so she can't see them and then respectfully tell your dad that as an adult you have the right to spend your money on whatever you see fit to make you happy and just leave it at that. I hope all works out for you

Thanks, if she ever discovers the little squatter I have here for the moment then I will explain. But I don't display my dolls at all, I respect that its her place, and there is a strong possibility that she may not understand. So I am use to hiding her away, sadly the new and bigger girl will have to be hidden as well.....until I head for school that is. ^.^

that's so sad I'm sorry. I'm sure your girls will understand too though.

My family aren't very keen on my dolls, but as long as I pay for them myself and don't have to come begging them for money when I accidently overspend (which is something I get dangerously close to sometimes lol) they don't mind. I think as long as they make you happy it shouldn't matter what other people think ^^

My parents have never really disliked my collections or hobbies, however I don't think they like them either. They are pretty neutral to everything cosplay, lolita fashion, collecting anime figures. But I mainly think it's because they don't care about me that much in general.

But I do believe my mother would be pretty mad at me for spending that much money on something so small and in her eyes unnecessary. I haven't told her about my dollfie yet and I don't think I will, it's just easier that way. I don't need her to judge me for one more thing.

My friend came over one day and I didn't tell her about my dolls. She walked in, and turned right back around. But the funny thing is that once I got her to come back, I turned on my black light and my the whites of their eyes glowed . For Christmas she got me another black light so I guess she isn't that worried.

I was never really that close with my parents. My mother has no idea I collect Dollfies since the last time I talked with/saw her was seven years ago. My dad didn't really care for them either he thought they were a little strange but never said a word.

My boyfriend on the other had is the reason that I went through and bought my very first bjd and last year I preordered my Momo. When she got here he was actually pretty happy with her and now wants me to get DDs over BJDs. xD

My mom hasn't said anything but my dad is all for it (we are both into comics and stuff.) He said he'd help me pay to get my first girl too.

First of all, I'm sorry to hear your parents don't support you in this hobby. I can imagine that must be painful .

 

I might not be much of a help, because I live on my own now and didn't have a DD when I lived at home. But I wanted to share my experience with you anyway because I did have a somewhat expensive hobby when living at home. Hopefully it helps a little. I have no contact with my dad so I don't have to worry about him, but I do with my mom. When I started collecting figures I lived with her and she thought it was silly and a waste of money. I clearly explained to her why I like collecting figures and I told her that she spends money on her garden buying what not and this is just where I like to spend my money on. When she noticed how happy that hobby made me, she quickly became very accepting of my hobby and even wanted to see every new figure that arrived. Like many others said, it might help to sit your parents down and have a talk with them.

 

In the end I'd like to think that parents care more about their childrens happiness than anything else. My mom is very supportive of my hobbies now that she knows how happy they make me. Good luck, I really hope your parents will become more accepting of your DDs, even if it's just letting them stay in the house.

.

Edited August 25, 2023 by ParacosmDoll

It's sad to see parents that don't understand. It's more fun seeing parents more involved with their "children" that they chose to birth and raise. The better parents being the ones that try and understand, try to be politely comical, and just have fun with life day by day. I'm seeing someone from this community constantly constantly being put down by his family members while forced to keep constantly venting on Twitter how family members just simply don't respect the choice.

 

I managed to get Vara just before my birthday which was awesome. Not much fuss. Birthday gift and all. When I did get with a few days or weeks between that summoning day I was asked if I used her as a sex toy which was uncalled for and unnecessary. I found it insulting. She's my damn blog mascot whom I love dearly and respect! She's my precious little foxy! Also, when someone was under the influence she would often find herself used as a weapon to try and harm me in any manner to show how stupid I am of a human. When in the best of moods that same person would craft up stuff for her .

 

She's mostly accepted now, even treated as part of the family thanks to the well known knowledge of me being in the anime field. It's know she came from the Anime side and is an arctic fox female, even being gifted happily for photography purposes or in general. I feel like Vara is on both sides of the fence with her being seen in both the generic North American + European manner of dolls for girls vs the Japanese artistic/Anime manner. If I showed this to my other family members they would at first or long-term assume that I'm fully crazy (if they don't think such already) with me needing to give out a brief speech or explanation of why I even took the Dollfie route. That odd balancing act?

Edited November 14, 2014 by Guest

im very sorry to hear that, i would cry..

my mother is super supportive in my hobby, but at first she thought it was a waste of money,

i was first int resin dolls, and i showd them to her, she liked them, but thought they were kinda creepyand a waste of money, i didnt know why she was off-put about this hobby, she has always been supportive in what i do and who i am esspecially scince i am gay, but i had found DDs and my mother saw them and they were really inexpensive compared to the resins that i wanted, and she let me save up for one and buy it usind her credit card. she said they gave her a "warmer-feeling" and i told her when i got her that "this hobby has hundreds and hundreds of nice people in it and i can relate, im not going to be the only one in this." so she gave in and now i often bug and annoy her about clothes on dollheart or coolcat...ANYWAY..

but you could tell her how many great people there are in this hobby and you love it and the dolls just the way they are. of course i still live with my mother(im fourteen) but shes never told me to put it away.. shes on a table byherself next to her props and what-not....but yeah....

 

omg.. i rambled

so very sorry..

Well, I never faced families like this, but friends who are scared of dolls.

 

I think the best situation is that you hide your doll, and tell them "If you leave my doll and my enthusiasm alone, I will respect you". Well, that is someone from no experience, shrug.

My parents hate my Anime/Manga hobby in generel, so my Dollfies as well. The only reason my mother supports it now a little bit, is our agreement that I won't have more than 6 girls (the number I have right now) If I want a new one, I have to sell another or wait till I have my own place (and that will take two more years )

 

Even though they don't like it, they accepted it in their own way. So its fine with them. My twin brother doesn't really care. xD He rolls his eyes when I show him a new doll, but accepts it anyway. So I'm lucky with him. My sister is not living with us, so she doesn't care what I do in my room

 

My big brother... well he is difficult. He is working in a bank so money seems to be the world for him. When he heard how much I spent for Kosmos and Momo he was.... lets just they really, really mean.... xD" Didn't talk to him for a very long time after that and I couldn't enjoy Kosmos (his main target :'D") as much as I would have normally because of him. xD"

 

Danny Choo wrote on his Page: (http://www.dannychoo.com/en/post/25018/Danny+Choo.html)

Remember that if you start listening to others telling you what you should or should not be doing - it will become a habit and you will end up living the life of others until the day you die.

 

There was a research where nurses interviewed people on their deathbeds who spoke about their regrets in life. The thing that they regretted most was that they lived the life of others instead of living a life for themselves.

 

Please dont let the last thing you say before you die "I regret living the life of others instead of living a life for myself."

 

I think he is right with that. So even if it is hard sometimes do what makes you happy. And even if the family don't approve what you like or doing you can still find people who does. (like here in the forum, there are so many nice people I met here so far *hugs everyone*)