Dealing with family members that does not like Dollfies...

My close family - mum and sis - accepted my doll. Although they're not doll fans, they help me with outfits, photoshooting and even find her pretty.

But some of my aunts and cousins... it's totally different story. After posting some photos of Kizuna on my FB, I started receiving comments like "is it because of the lack of children?" or "the disease is progressing". They generally think I'm freak. Although I have never called Kizuna my daughter or my child, they all assume I think of her that way and that this is sick. I must admit that it is totally taking all the joy of having a doll from me. I don't even know how to reply to them - I don't want to start a war and also don't want to explain myself - they wouldn't understand.

My close family - mum and sis - accepted my doll. Although they're not doll fans, they help me with outfits, photoshooting and even find her pretty.

But some of my aunts and cousins... it's totally different story. After posting some photos of Kizuna on my FB, I started receiving comments like "is it because of the lack of children?" or "the disease is progressing". They generally think I'm freak. Although I have never called Kizuna my daughter or my child, they all assume I think of her that way and that this is sick. I must admit that it is totally taking all the joy of having a doll from me. I don't even know how to reply to them - I don't want to start a war and also don't want to explain myself - they wouldn't understand.

That is so sad :C

 

Honestly in a case like that the only response I could have would be a simple "nope, just a collector/fan ".

 

My old boss asked me if I liked guys that wore makeup after she saw one of my dolls. :/

 

I'll never quite understand some People's audacity.

my family doesnt like it

but even they learned to deal with it.

i live with my mom and even if she hates this, shes the one helping me to dress her and put the wig on and always offer me help.

my grandma when she comes to visit , she just ignores her.

my uncle was more interested why she cost so much and what shes made of ^^

my cat love her hands, he always try to hang around miku so she can scratch his head and back ^^

Honestly in a case like that the only response I could have would be a simple "nope, just a collector/fan ".

Thanks, I sure try it next time, but I do worry it won't be enough :/

 

I really can't understand why doll fans are treated like that. I hear from everywhere that we must be tolerant for people of different religion, different orientation, different skin color... but different hobby? no! We all should only "listen to music and watch sport" -.-"

 

my family doesnt like it

but even they learned to deal with it.

i live with my mom and even if she hates this, shes the one helping me to dress her and put the wig on and always offer me help.

my grandma when she comes to visit , she just ignores her.

my uncle was more interested why she cost so much and what shes made of ^^

my cat love her hands, he always try to hang around miku so she can scratch his head and back ^^

I can see that your mom does not hate this - she just doesn't want to admit that she likes it

And at least your cat is positive about dolls! Maybe you would be able to take some pictures of Miku scratching the cat's back ^_^

At first my boyfriend hate them. But after hearing me talking so much about them he started to look at them with better eyes. Still he only likes some of them with a very particular style, it doesn't really matter since is mostly the same as I like.

 

My parents on the other hand doesnt understand it at all, and they call them "tetonas" something like bigtits, but in spanish. Hopefully they don't say I can't have them. I think is a matter of time with my mother since she likes my pureneemos xD

Actually, my family really like my DDs...then again, I have been into the BJD hobby for a long time so they are used to dolls.

I'm living with my folks again after college (when I got into dolls) and they seem fine with them. Dad probably doesn't understand the appeal but seems cool with it and Mom is pretty artsy so she appreciates the artistry and creativity behind the hobby.

 

Most of all, I'm sure they both love that it's a social hobby for me since I get together with other doll lovers (mostly resin though) from around the region every month or so. I have a hard time making friends because of shyness/anxiety and don't get out enough, so a social hobby with fun people is a good thing!

 

The onnnnnly thing is there is a silent understanding that we don't discuss how much I spend on dolls. I'm financially independent so it's really only my business anyway, so I don't need to be judged, you know?

My mother just constantly is on my about what a waste of money they are, to the point where I hid the things I buy from her because I fear her judgment so much. She likes them and thinks they're cute, but I always seem to get a lecture about finaces whenever I talk about them.

 

My sister adores my dolls and wants as much to do with them as she can. She actually wants one of her own(much to my mothers dismay )

Edited August 1, 2015 by Guest

I am not sure what my family members think of my dolls. If they don't like them, they don't really complain about it. So, that's cool to me.

I usually just keep the hobby mostly to myself... although, I chit chat about them with my husband sometimes. Not really his thing, but he's nice about it.

I'm pretty surprised seeing how many parents (or family members) don't really approve of this hobby/lifestyle. I can kinda understand the "being afraid of dolls" part as the more realistic dolls do still creep me out sometimes. I currently own two DDs and haven't had any problems with family. When I first told my mother that I wanted to get my own girl (showing her pictures as I told her) she thought they were cute and only didn't like their pricing. I didn't bother telling my father anything as really there was no point to doing so though my mother told him about it later on. He didn't really seem to care much really, which did surprise me a bit as I thought he would think it was weird for his son to want to own a doll. Although they didn't see the justification for their pricing they didn't complain much as they know they spend money on "useless" items a lot.

I'm sure they noticed how much I've changed ever since getting my girls but I'll leave that discussion for when I (hopefully) make a vlog about them for the Dollfie Dream vloggers topic. I suppose as long as I am helpful around the house like I always am they don't care what I do or spend money on. My older brother and sister don't mind/care about it either though I do think my brother doesn't want his friends knowing his brother owns and plays with dolls haha. My mother is a bit involved in my hobby as whenever she is out and find miniature items she sometimes will bring it home for my girls which is awesome!

 

To everyone having family issues involving Dolls or Anime/manga related hobbies I hope You don't let anyone's opinions affect your decisions on something you might want and continue being happy being involved with the hobby you are into! You might not be able to convince everyone to accept what you like but maybe you can at lease make them understand It makes you happy and they should ease off making any hate comments!

My mother just constantly is on my about what a waste of money they are, to the point where I hid the things I buy from her because I fear her judgment so much. She likes them and thinks they're cute, but I always seem to get a lecture about finances whenever I talk about them.

Just remind her they're cheaper than heroin.

(Unfortunately just about as addictive.)

My mother just constantly is on my about what a waste of money they are, to the point where I hid the things I buy from her because I fear her judgment so much. She likes them and thinks they're cute, but I always seem to get a lecture about finances whenever I talk about them.

Just remind her they're cheaper than heroin.

(Unfortunately just about as addictive.)

 

HA

I'll defiantly have to use that one!

I'm really sad to read some of these posts

I understand if people are worried because of the costs, because it IS a lot of money we spend on our hobby, but as soon as it's clear that you aren't using money that should have been used for more important things like rent or food it shouldn't be an issue anymore.

There are so many more risky or downright stupid hobbies or things you can waste money on, why is collecting dolls such a big deal?

 

Personally I never had an issue with my family and my doll collecting.

I started with BJDs and my father actually bought me my first as a gift for birthday/christmas.

While he of course thought the prices are a bit crazy he only wanted me to be happy.

After seeing that I actually earned money with it too and got a lot of friends with it he was absolutely fine with me splurging my "spending money" on dolls.

 

For my father my happiness was always the most important thing, as long as it was reached without harming my future or harming others

He sometimes asks for pictures of my collection or asks how the hobby is going but he never judges me.

For my father my happiness was always the most important thing, as long as it was reached without harming my future or harming others

He sometimes asks for pictures of my collection or asks how the hobby is going but he never judges me.

That was just a really lovely thing to read It makes me happy to hear stories about parents who support their children in whatever hobbies that bring them joy. It would be wonderful if all parents could nurture that happiness and even ask about it~ Really touching

It all depends on your family. Everyone in my family hates them but they also wouldn't actually do anything to them. They will give me endless grief but in the end they just shrug and go away.

 

Now if I was under 18 I'm sure my parents would of taken my dolls and burned them. XD

I agree 100% with what Cauldroness says on the first page of this long thread (I know that was years ago but it still stands true I think).

 

My parents are also of the impression that "their house, their rules". I just moved back in with them recently to save money while finishing school, and although they are better now than when I was younger, they still maintain that even my room is their house so they should get to decide how I keep it.

 

Luckily, my parents have become more accepting of my weird hobbies, my mom moreso than my dad. Usually my dad's issue is that I waste all my money on "useless junk" instead of being smart and saving or investing. So usually if I talk to him and my expensive hobbies come up then I talk about them in terms of investing and their turnaround value. Or, I tell him that I stopped spending money on other things he dislikes (like he hates that I spend a lot of money going out to eat), and instead say i'm saving my money slowly for a purchase like a doll. Therefore, I'm spending less money overall (or so it appears). Also I focus on the fact that unlike the food thing, or my obsession with buying virtual goods in video games and such, at least I'm buying things that are tangible and I can keep/resell in the future (as if! but he doesn't need to know )

 

With my mom, or my friends, I focus on explaining that I enjoy having a hobby that makes me happy, or helps me to feel less stressed/depressed with work and school and family problems. Usually the play on sympathy leads them to understand my interests better.

 

It's all in the way you say things! I firmly believe it.

This thread makes me sad in parts and jealous in others - I really wish some people could be more understanding of my hobbies. The thing is...I don't even have DDs, or any doll that big, at the moment...and even though I really want one and will be getting a smart doll soon, I'm also dreading how my mother is going to react.

 

I live with my mum at the moment due to a disability, and she's made her judgement of my figure collection and Pure Neemo army pretty clear. She seems to have accepted that this is how I choose to spend my money (and she was pretty interested in the custom doll I made of one of the main characters in my webcomic since she also reads it, and to my surprise even suggested I make another of the characters) but it still kind of hurts that she can't see how much the little dolls especially have done for me. I was in a pretty dark place about two years ago and as I'm sure many of you here know, cute dolls that you can dress up and pose have pretty amazing healing, therapeutic qualities. There are times when I'm stressed and upset even now and manage to feel better if I pick one up or put them in an encouraging pose. But they're just worthless and expensive toys to her. (I havent had the heart to tell her how expensive, even though they're cheap as chips in comparison to 1/3 dolls...)

 

My older sister has been the most unkind but luckily she doesn't actually live here. Then again, she's always been pretty judgemental about everything I like. My dad doesnt live with us and so he doesn't know or care; I imagine he'd just see them as extensions of my figure collection which doesnt seem to bother him as he has a geeky streak and likes to collect old toy robots anyway.

 

My younger sister has been the best and has been interested enough in my pure neemos to try her hand at making one herself. But she also has shown signs of thinking the 1/3 dolls are too expensive and a waste of money, and tried to discourage me from wanting a smart doll (she doesn't know I'm already resolved to get one...)

 

My friends...not all of them know, and they're pretty 50/50. One of them is really understanding and enthusiastic (or at least really good at feigning enthusiasm) even if she doesn't understand everything about it, and she definitely understands that they are very important to me so I'm really happy about that, but I always get a slightly judgemental vibe from some of my other friends that makes me pretty sad. I don't want to be the annoying friend that prattles on about my own interests when they dont care, but I feel like they deliberately ignore anything I say even in passing about dolls, which only annoys me because I feign interest when they talk about -their- hobbies, which is a lot. Some of my other friends once were expressing shock at the prices of bjds and such (I didnt initiate this conversation though) and that anyone who spent that much on a doll doesnt have their priorities in order, etc...didnt have the heart to speak up...

 

I'm excited to get Smart Doll Eiji but at the same time, I'm worried because my mother will probably freak out, not just because of his size but because of his price. I'm hoping I can demonstrate to her how useful he's going to be as a drawing mannequin for me and she might accept that as most of my income at the moment comes from art commissions. I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see. I feel like she'll probably think he's some weird sex thing for some reason because that's often what her mind immediately jumps to when it comes to dolls aimed at adults...

 

Basically, I know theres not much I can do to change peoples opinions and prejudices but the reason it bothers me is because in real life I'm a very shy and easily hurt person. I have a lot of difficutly speaking my mind and standing up for myself so when people make hurtful comments about a hobby that has helped me so much, I end up taking it personally and getting upset. It's pretty pathetic, though, and every now and then I want to try and discuss with people like my mother why I like dolls and why I want them to understand the hobby a bit more but my anxiety is ridiculous.

 

If all goes well I'll have my own place again by the time Kagamine Rin comes out, though.

 

sorry for the long post

My parents as a whole have remained pretty meh on it surprisingly. Even more surprisingly my mom seems to kinda like them while I expected her to judge me in some way or another over them. I guess by saying it helps me visualize my characters (Which it definitely does) and telling them that once I learn how to use blender I will probably use them as reference for character modeling helps them be more on board with the idea. My mom has actually bought little knick knacks like jewelry and things and said "I saw this and thought it would be nice for your dolls!" It's very odd to see her this friendly but I'm not complaining.

My parents as a whole have remained pretty meh on it surprisingly. Even more surprisingly my mom seems to kinda like them while I expected her to judge me in some way or another over them. I guess by saying it helps me visualize my characters (Which it definitely does) and telling them that once I learn how to use blender I will probably use them as reference for character modeling helps them be more on board with the idea. My mom has actually bought little knick knacks like jewelry and things and said "I saw this and thought it would be nice for your dolls!" It's very odd to see her this friendly but I'm not complaining.

 

This is the case with my family as well. My parents don't adore them like I do, but my mom will talk about them with me, and my dad is interested in anything that gets me to keep making art. As long as price never comes up with them, they're good, haha. They only judge me when price is concerned, and I can handle that. The girls are pricey, it's true!

 

My husband is a little more judgmental, but only because dolls freak him out (and we share finances obviously so he knows how much they are). He had a grandma with porcelain dolls when he was a kid... so my porcelain dolls are packed away, hahahaha. He tolerates the girls.

My parents as a whole have remained pretty meh on it surprisingly. Even more surprisingly my mom seems to kinda like them while I expected her to judge me in some way or another over them. I guess by saying it helps me visualize my characters (Which it definitely does) and telling them that once I learn how to use blender I will probably use them as reference for character modeling helps them be more on board with the idea. My mom has actually bought little knick knacks like jewelry and things and said "I saw this and thought it would be nice for your dolls!" It's very odd to see her this friendly but I'm not complaining.

 

This is the case with my family as well. My parents don't adore them like I do, but my mom will talk about them with me, and my dad is interested in anything that gets me to keep making art. As long as price never comes up with them, they're good, haha. They only judge me when price is concerned, and I can handle that. The girls are pricey, it's true!

 

My husband is a little more judgmental, but only because dolls freak him out (and we share finances obviously so he knows how much they are). He had a grandma with porcelain dolls when he was a kid... so my porcelain dolls are packed away, hahahaha. He tolerates the girls.

 

My boyfriend went from about my Mom's level of interest to now actually wanting to get in the hobby! Poor baby wants a Sasara in default. I have one but I've turned her into my OC so I told him to just look for a head and eyes, we can order her a dynamite body at any time and he can have my girl's default stuff.

My parents as a whole have remained pretty meh on it surprisingly. Even more surprisingly my mom seems to kinda like them while I expected her to judge me in some way or another over them. I guess by saying it helps me visualize my characters (Which it definitely does) and telling them that once I learn how to use blender I will probably use them as reference for character modeling helps them be more on board with the idea. My mom has actually bought little knick knacks like jewelry and things and said "I saw this and thought it would be nice for your dolls!" It's very odd to see her this friendly but I'm not complaining.

 

This is the case with my family as well. My parents don't adore them like I do, but my mom will talk about them with me, and my dad is interested in anything that gets me to keep making art. As long as price never comes up with them, they're good, haha. They only judge me when price is concerned, and I can handle that. The girls are pricey, it's true!

 

My husband is a little more judgmental, but only because dolls freak him out (and we share finances obviously so he knows how much they are). He had a grandma with porcelain dolls when he was a kid... so my porcelain dolls are packed away, hahahaha. He tolerates the girls.

 

My boyfriend went from about my Mom's level of interest to now actually wanting to get in the hobby! Poor baby wants a Sasara in default. I have one but I've turned her into my OC so I told him to just look for a head and eyes, we can order her a dynamite body at any time and he can have my girl's default stuff.

 

When I told my husband I was going to enter for Rin twice and we might end up with an extra he just looked at me like "oh, that might not be so bad" haha! Despite my effort my husband just doesn't want a DD of his own, though.

 

Maybe someday...

 

When I told my husband I was going to enter for Rin twice and we might end up with an extra he just looked at me like "oh, that might not be so bad" haha! Despite my effort my husband just doesn't want a DD of his own, though.

 

Maybe someday...

 

Lol, ONE OF US, ONE OF US, ONE OF US

When I started collecting dolls I sort of hid it from my boyfriend of five years (whom I live with and lived with at the time! Haha!). I guess I shouldn't say I hid it exactly, more like I just didn't tell him about it and didn't put my dolls as out in the open as I do now. He didn't ask and I didn't say anything. Eventually it got to the point where he started to notice however, and I ended up trying to share my interest in them with him.

 

I pushed that the dolls I bought (starting out with Pullips) were good investments, and always something I could get my money back on. Not only were dolls something that I found fun to have to dress up and look at, but also to customize. They're more like art than dolls, and I even tried to sell them to him as more pose able dress up figures. He didn't quite buy that idea either, but I will say he's starting to warm up to my hobby a little more than he was. When I told him I entered the DD lottery in hopes of winning Rin he didn't even say anything to dissuade me. I've never been one to spend a lot of money on anything, I don't really buy things new for myself ever- so spending a possible $700 on a doll I think said something about how much I'm hoping to win her. Fingers crossed that he's convinced now that she's a good investment and doesn't get mad! xD

 

As for the rest of my family, my mom always collected dolls and supported my hobby to an extent- but she often makes comments referring to the amount of money I spend on my hobbies. While she knows full well that I don't spend retail price on just about anything, she still gets a little "judgy" sometimes. I generally try to avoid telling her about some of the things I buy or how much I spend. Despite the fact that she collects dolls as well she is probably the least supportive of my hobby.

 

My grandpa doesn't really care one way or another. He always asks how much I spend on everything, but regardless of what I tell him he'll just be like, "Whoa! That's a lot of money" or "Oh okay". He doesn't really listen either way. I recently tried to teach him about the value of Dollfie Dreams and he acted interested, but in reality probably didn't hear a word I said. If I had to say anyone was most supportive of my doll collection and interests it would be him, but that could be because he hasn't seen how many I have..

I hope you were able to have your family members understand your love for dolls!

Edited February 5, 2016 by Guest

I'm sorry that your family is not supportive. Families can be tough that way.

 

In the end, hopefully they'll grow to appreciate or at least tolerate your hobby, especially if it's an important part of your life. Sometimes, there's nothing concrete you can do, you just have to ride it out.

 

I speak from pretty significant personal experience (but not with dolls). My parents were extremely, extremely against a career choice that I made 5 years ago, but they've slowly come around. Hopefully in your case, it won't take 5 years.