Dealing with family members that does not like Dollfies...

Pretty sure my parents will not like / approve the fact I bought a DD, everything Manga - anime related seems to be a waste of money.

 

I think it will be kept in storage and took out for photos...

 

I posted this on an rpg forum, but I find this appropriate to hobbies and parents:

 

For me my family doesn't have problem with me being into the DD hobby.. well they know I'm a bit lonely so they don't mind if my hobby is the most weird and bizarre among my siblings. they respect what i like and they won't question it. ^^,

 

Just like Kushina, this is what I promise my mom since I still live in their house - to only have 2 dolls. so that's why you keep seeing me selling my dolls. sad, but i can't do anything about it, my mom and dad don't like the idea of having too many dolls in the house. they always about the price and I never told them and i won't, EVER!

My parents hate my Anime/Manga hobby in generel, so my Dollfies as well. The only reason my mother supports it now a little bit, is our agreement that I won't have more than 6 girls (the number I have right now) If I want a new one, I have to sell another or wait till I have my own place (and that will take two more years )

 

Even though they don't like it, they accepted it in their own way. So its fine with them. My twin brother doesn't really care. xD He rolls his eyes when I show him a new doll, but accepts it anyway. So I'm lucky with him. My sister is not living with us, so she doesn't care what I do in my room

 

My big brother... well he is difficult. He is working in a bank so money seems to be the world for him. When he heard how much I spent for Kosmos and Momo he was.... lets just they really, really mean.... xD" Didn't talk to him for a very long time after that and I couldn't enjoy Kosmos (his main target :'D") as much as I would have normally because of him. xD"

 

Danny Choo wrote on his Page: (http://www.dannychoo.com/en/post/25018/Danny+Choo.html)

Remember that if you start listening to others telling you what you should or should not be doing - it will become a habit and you will end up living the life of others until the day you die.

 

There was a research where nurses interviewed people on their deathbeds who spoke about their regrets in life. The thing that they regretted most was that they lived the life of others instead of living a life for themselves.

 

Please dont let the last thing you say before you die "I regret living the life of others instead of living a life for myself."

 

I think he is right with that. So even if it is hard sometimes do what makes you happy. And even if the family don't approve what you like or doing you can still find people who does. (like here in the forum, there are so many nice people I met here so far *hugs everyone*)

 

The thing that listening to your own way of doing things is also problematic. People don't exist in vacuums. Most things we experience are marketed at us. We may say we are independent and make our own choices but consciously or subconsciously, culture tends to push certain things. Marketers are very good at it as we see ads cost a lot of money. So when one says "live your life as you wish" that's also someone telling you how to live your life. It's more subtle but it's not different. And in this thread people are giving people advice how to do things. That influences people to think, hey maybe that is cool because person a who is cool said it, so I'll do it, as opposed to a more forceful parent/partner b saying do this or I leave you/kick you out the house. It's a kind of marketing.

 

As for DannyChoo's advice I know many people who regret not following their parents' advice. I sometimes regret not following certain types of advice. Haha. Sometimes others know you better than you know yourself.

Although I don't currently have any DD, I do have two BJD (I had more, but I sold them!); an SD17 and a Tiny. My dad thinks it's weird but hasn't voiced anything, just laughed a little when he sees me with them, but my mom, I think, thinks they're kind of pointless. She used to hate that I was into anime and manga, and then I think she realized this stems off of it. They act fine with them though, since I try to keep them in my own space, but I know my mom is a bit bothered with how much money they cost (she doesn't know /exacts/, just estimates because I asked them not to touch my dolls because of their worth). My older sister collects them also so she's perfectly fine with it, while my other sisters and my brothers think they're a bit creepy. My grandmother doesn't mind because she collects porcelain dolls and thinks of them as being similar. ^^

I'm going to make the assumption that there aren't many other housing options and you need to live with your parents. If they can't be convinced of the positives of the hobby, then the next best thing is to accommodate them as much as you can.

 

The most important thing is to keep your dolls out of the line of fire. How much do your parents not want your dolls in the house? Will they be appeased by you keeping the dolls out of sight - under your bed or behind a closed door? Or is it a legitimate concern that they might take the dolls or damage them?

 

Being able to just keep them out of site is the better scenario, but if your parents are bound and determined to be rid of your dolls, you might want to make provisions to hide or store them away from your home - perhaps with a trustworthy friend, or if all else fails, you could look for an indoor storage facility or a bank that has a large safety deposit box that could hold them. And get your parents to pay or help pay for it if you can, since they want the dolls gone.

 

Hopefully you'll have the means to move out soon.

Unfortunately I think that parents will always criticize their children for blowing money on impractical things, until the child makes more money that the parent. So make that your goal LOL.

 

Its also good to balance the expensive DD hobby with other expensive hobbies, such as buying expensive cars and drinking expensive liquor. It seems to reduce the focus a disgruntled family member will put on the dolls =).

Agreed ^

 

parents will always be parents, I'm WAY into my 30's and I've lived on my own for... almost 10 yrs.. OMG

and when there are family get togethers, my parents will rat on to the world about how I blow my money on this and that...

I'll throw in my story as well, since I need to spam make quality posts to reach my first 20.

 

I grew up without a father, looking after my mentally disabled mother from as early as I can remember. I dropped out of school to start working to get my own money, since the pension we received was barely enough to survive on.

 

I had an old timer living nearby who was a family friend since my mother was a teenager, and he helped us out in any way he could. Sadly he passed away in 2008, leaving me and my mum alone. Her condition got considerably worse after that, then she also passed away in 2011, leaving me by myself. I have a little brother, however he had moved out many years ago to get a better education than I did.

 

What I can tell you is what little money I had that didn't go into the household was spent on my anime-related hobbies. Occasionally I'd treat myself to a new DVD or a figurine or a poster. My mother however, absolutely hated all that stuff. I had to hide it away in locked cupboards in my bedroom, any time I left something out it'd get broken or thrown out. I lost a few figurines this way, eventually I invested in a heavy cast-iron glass display cabinet with a locking door. Fortunately she never got past that.

 

Anyway, once she had passed away I no longer had to worry about all of that. I managed to get qualified in a trade and picked up a career I could look forward to, and now had a lot more money than I ever did before. So I started buying anything and everything I wanted... including, recently, 1/3 scale dolls.

 

However! Thanks to Facebook I was discovered by my long-lost family, including my father and my step-mother. A fantastic reunion and many emotions, you know all that stuff.

 

But oh no! Now I needed to explain to my father that his eldest son, a heavy-industry labourer, collects dolls and teddy bears in his spare time.

 

Now my dad is fairly old fashioned, but I think he values having a son more than estranging us over my hobbies after ~20 years. I gradually introduced him to my now swollen collection, including my 1/3 dolls and the teddies. I still get "Instead of buying x-dolls you could buy y-car parts" and stuff like that, but I'm sure he means no harm and is just doing what parents are supposed to do concerning their children's spending habits.

 

My step-mother, however, doesn't seem to have taken to my hobbies quite so readily. She's so far refused to come to my house because of my collection being on display all over the loungeroom, kitchen, dining room... you get the idea. Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely woman, but I suspect she's a very orthodox and traditional sort of person, expecting a 25 year old man to be doing things like playing football and fixing cars and dating girls...

 

Still haven't had the courage to tell her about the "girls" part. But I suspect having my partner listed on Facebook might have given a hint.

My parents used to think they were just a stupid, childish, girlish, etc, expensive waste of money... but that was before I started seeing someone (like that has anything to do with it), started paying for things and getting "serious" about photography (dad's a pro, so it kinda helped them look at them more like a creative vessel). Now I don't think they care anymore. Of course they don't have any idea how expensive it really gets but they don't really need to know, right?

 

 

ps. Shouldn't this be moved to the General Discussions? People being judgemental and disliking of our dolls is totally on-topic, isn't it?

My parents was an easy going kind of parents, so they never put their self to much into their child private live, and I was a easy going person and having a great social live, I've been living on my own since 18 so I always got my private live for my self, eventho my mother or father occasionally visit my house they never ask me about the dolls (price, or why I'm collecting them), my mother love pretty things so she loves the dolls, my father likes cool things and mechanical things, so the hot toys and model kits always got his attention, I never tell them about their prices tho, hha, the one who always tease me about their price was my sister, she's a medical student, so she's quite smarts and she always find her way to know about how much money that I spent for my collection. She will said, why don't you buy a new phone or a more cooler motor cycle/car bla bla bla with that money, hahaha I still using my old blackberry and iphone, and a pigeot vespa, so she always get annoyed whenever she saw my gadget, and my friend somehow really cool with my collection Dolls, figure, etc but sometimes they just say my collection was a toy, like asking me "dude you still buy those toys?", which is sometimes irritated me, because I have to explain why they're not a toys again and again haha, I hope you guys can find a way to make your parents understand your hobbies. Edit: fluffy story makes me shiver, keep strong girl, you are a great child.

Edited August 21, 2014 by Guest

Fluffy's story made me tear up a bit for a sec. Honey, you deserve every doll and teddy bear you have for taking such good care of your mom and giving up your childhood like that. She was a lucky lady to have you.

My mother doesn't really care and my father hasn't been a part of my life in years.

BUT

One of my best friends is absolutely mortified of my girls. : ( Heart breaking.

She hasn't visited my new home at all (I moved here 4 years ago) because she knows that they are here, even if they are put away and out of sight.

 

I'm sorry about your 'rents. : ( Maybe they'll warm up to them. ^^ DDs are so soft and loveable, even compared to Resins.

Fluffy dear, you rock!

 

I think I answered this a while back and like I mentioned I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who is supportive and friends who don't quite freak out about my girls. However, my Mom and Dad will soon be coming to live with us and I don't know how they will react. I'm sure it won't be a big deal since they're both easy going but I don't think I will mention anything about how much my 'collection' really costs. LOL

My my mom is totally fine with me liking Dollfie Dreams, as long as they're in cute clothing

My dad really doesn't like the price they go for...

My sister doesn't understand anything I try to tell her...

My brother doesn't really care

 

Hope your parents will try to understand, Dollfie Dreams are awesome.

I don't have a DD right now but I have a SD10 boy. and my mother hates my doll. She threatens to throw him on the hard ground or throw him out.. She also hates it if I had my doll hanging with me in the living room...anywhere that isn't my room actually. So I just keep him in my room on my dresser, and if she isnt home I would have him with me and take pictures with him. It does make me not want to play with him like I use to though. My mother is pretty mean to me... I just try to listen to her and keep things a secret from her when it comes to my hobbies.

I am lucky that my sister loves dolls too. The rest of my family is trying to stop me from spending so much money for "toys"

I find that this is an interesting topic, to read about how other collectors' family members are reacting to their doll collection.

 

As for me, I collect a lot of anime figurines and my parents had always disapproved of my hobby. They feel that is it expensive, space-hogging (as I live in a small apartment), not worth the money as their value usually drops over time. Definitely I do feel annoyed when they keep pointing out how much money I am spending on "useless things".

 

I have been interested in dollfies for a while and finally pre-ordered Sheryl Nome Dollfie. I can imagine their disapproving looks, thinking I am crazy and spending far too much money on my hobbies. My sister finds dollfies freaky and my brother has the same reaction as my parents. My friends don't approve of my hobby as well. Hence it's definitely tough having to stand up for myself for what I like. But I will likely keep them out of their sight just so that they won't get even more upset with me.

 

I think over time my parents also realised that I'm not going to stop my hobby hence they simply let me be. If only my friends can feel the same way. =(

My parents are both pretty uninvolved. They think it's a bit of a waste in money, but I've purchased everything myself, and they're happy that I'm learning how to deal with money via the hobby. I'm also an anime/manga and video game fan, so it's certainly not the weirdest thing to happen in our house. Certainly less difficult to accept than when I customized Monster High dolls and used an awl on their heads so I could wig them. Dad still gets a little weary about the disembodied parts that end up in the shop for one reason or another. My grandma doesn't really understand, but she thinks they're cute and helps me sew for them. My dad just thinks that, as long as I'm happy and not hurting myself, hobbies aren't supposed to make sense and he's happy for me.

My wife shakes her head at me when I'm spending time with my DDS....and my daughter tries to steal her... lol

I'm pretty lucky, My mom was a little bit weirded out at first, But after i had gone to a few meets, before i had even owned any dolls in general. She slowly came around to liking them, And she doesnt mind them at all. She just cant keep up with how many Resin dolls i have! Haha! She's even made some cute dresses for my dolls. :3 My dad doesn't care really. I'm glad i don't have to deal with that sort of a problem. I even met my best friend in this hobby as well. So, im very thankful for that!

My family in general doesn't like my figurine or model collections as a whole. I find that having a tall bookshelf and putting a chair in front of the lower shelves helps in greatly obscuring collectibles. Having a white towel also helps in making it less obvious while simultaneously preventing staining and dust buildup. Granted, my family doesn't know I have a dollfie yet, and I'm not planning on bringing it to their attention unless needed. Just gotta keep my story straight on how I obtained it.

 

Fortunately I have supportive friends who enjoy the hobby (though I'm the only one with a VOLKs doll).

Well my parents weren't too happy when I first told them that I'm going to spend 150€ for a doll (my first BJD, 2008) but still I don't think they hate my hobby. When my first doll arrived, my father actually helped me to put him together since he was in pieces. Also my mother calls me everytime she finds something "doll sized" like a cup or bed or anything like that in case I would need one for my dolls. So basically only thing that they don't like about them is the price.

After collecting BJD's for several years, one dollfie wasn't actually a shock for them. Even my little brothers like my dolls (even though they wont admit it but I did see them once trying different outfits for them... ). And my fiancee thinks they're cool which is super important for me since he has to see them every day. He even wants to know more about them and seems to be interested on them.

Only person who doesn't really like them is my granny, but that's mainly because I'm 20 and apparently it's not a normal hobby for a fine young lady of my are but I don't really care because I have found something I enjoy so my advice to anyone who's family doesn't like them is not to care about them or anyone else. If it's something that makes you happy then that's good!

My parents haven't seen my dolls in person and they don't seem too interested in them. My boyfriend I think is secretly ashamed of them. He insists they're "figurines" and not dolls. His mom is politely interested and his dad makes fun comments about them sometimes.

 

I have a couple friends who are also politely interested in my dolls. One friend thinks they're creepy but she still thinks they're interested.

 

*edit* oops didn't get to finish what I was saying.

 

If you're having problems with your family not liking your dolls I don't think there is any one way to fix the situation. They don't have to like your dolls and maybe they'll come around and accept them eventually. Sometimes it's just about some nice exposure. If it's a cost thing then just proving that you can budget for them and knowing that THEY probably spend money on something YOU don't like or understand should be good enough.

My family roll their eyes if I start talking about my dolls. Its not that they dislike or dissaprove of them they just know i'll chat on for ages!!

My 14 year old daughter also tries to taunt me by calling them barbie's lol!

My mum used to find them creepy. When I first started showing her them when I was in my teens, she hated the Dollfies the most (I think the anime and doll mix freaked her out). When I got my first girl (cheap Mei from another resin brand) she found her pretty, but still creepy.

 

Knowing I was going to bring a real Volks one back from Japan the first time I visited, I think she tried not to vocalise her dislike of them so much. She was more exasperated than anything else when I came back with two instead of one ^_^; I think my dddy creeped her out though -_-; (I think it was the nipples Though what does she expect, considering how detailed the rest of the doll was?!)

 

She's already said that my next trip (this May) should be much cheaper now I've got 'that doll thing out of my system' ... I don't have the heart to explain Dollpa to her Let alone that half of my budget for my two week vacation is reserved for Dollfies ^___^; I think my looking to sell my resin doll made her think it was just a phase, rather than me switching to Dollfies only ^_^;